The process may also help you discover,
why your dog has been so attracted to your
What I found was astonishing! A mangled,
gnarled and somewhat greenish bologna
sandwich, that my loving wife had packed in
JULY, was emitting smells that nearly made
me swear off bologna for the rest of my life,
and I really like bologna sandwiches. I only
hope that you do not meet with a similar fate.
Removingexcessmudanddirt fromyour clubs
is also advisable
before you head indoors for a
round on St. Andrews or Pebble Beach. With
all of your outdoor hacks, old divots still cling
to your golf club and have probably bonded
with the metal and will require considerable
elbow grease or possibly even a shop grinder
Be sure to also clean the grooves, you don’t
want to be the guy requested to vacuum the
simulator after your round. Most men run from
the sound of a screaming vacuum cleaner and
we certainly don’t want to make it known that
we actually know how to operate one in front
of our golfing buddies.
Next let’s sort through that pocket
the mishmash of random balls you have
accumulated. You can remove most of them
to lighten the load, you don’t lose too many
balls playing indoors.
I take that back, I actually remember once
witnessing my father lose a ball in a simulator,
a feat that has befuddled the owner of that
establishment to this day. With that I say, I
love you Dad.
Another important reason to clean out that
bag is the removal of the extra bottle of
“medicine” you have stashed in the side
pocket.You must resist the temptation to keep
it. Indoor simulators present a much smaller
atmosphere, than the great outdoors. The
rangers are much closer and always lurking.
There are also state laws for that kind of thing
and you wouldn’t want to have to call your
wife to post bail after a day out with your
lads. Besides, indoor golf facilities that sell
adult beverages, frown upon self-medication
without proper exchange of monies for said
Another timely tip, be sure to tip your waiters
and waitresses too.
throw out any excess.
practice of “Chinese Fung-Shui” demands an
orderly life, which includes your golf bag. If
you are like me, you have 34 ripped gloves,
642 broken tees, $5.76 in assorted change,
as well as, 27 sliced and smiling golf balls.
(This is a ‘no judgment zone’ so keep your
untoward comments to yourself.)
Finally, and most importantly, during the
indoor golf season, remember these six
words in order to maintain your winsome
personality. As the wagering begins and the
beers are consumed, keep this in mind, no
matter what happens,
“IT IS JUST A VIDEO GAME!”
I must give credit to B.I.G. T. (Best Indoor
Golfer in Toledo), you know who you are, for
this quote as uttered after watching someone
throw their club into the simulator screen not
EnjoyWinter Golfers, The Masters is less than
100 days away.
NWO Golf Links