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NWO Golf Links

The Cart

Girl Boogie


Bryan Renius

She laughs and employs the skillful

tongue of a politician during a

presidential debate.

The Cart Girl is approaching!

Your group can see her from

several holes away making the

rounds.That one guy, you know

who I mean, that guy in every

foursome, immediately sucks in

his gut, puts on his best smile

and slicks back his hair.

Every golfer has seen this

phenomenon. Hopefully it

doesn’t hit too close to home,

but it can be witnessed in

some variation at every golf

course. Here is an example

of a recent interaction that I

happened to witness. I will try

to describe the scene without

too much offense, although I

was laughing like a hyena as I

wrote this piece.

“How are you doing sweet-

heart?” I hear, as I roll my eyes

and put my club back in my

bag. The answer does not mat-

ter, the ‘Cart Girl Boogie’ has

begun and it is quite comical.

The conversation emanating

from this 40-something, who

thinks he is suave and debo-

nair, chatting up this attractive

young lady in her 20’s, can be

likened to listening to nails on

a chalkboard. This guy actu-

ally thinks his manly charms

will work on this girl, young

enough to be his daughter, or

even granddaughter.

Coy compliments flow from

his mouth like water over

Niagara Falls. She patient-

ly listens, as she attempts to

do her job, smiling the en-

tire time in order to extract

a sizable tip. She holds the

upper hand in this exchange

and she knows it. He is per-

sistent, however, clinging to

the slightest hope of success.

It is a game of cat and mouse,

although the roles, in actuali-

ty, are reversed, unbeknownst

to, and I use this term loosely,

the gentleman.